Word of the Year Check-in

You know how people choose a word of the year in January? I can't help but feel intimidated by the commitment. What if I pick the wrong word?! But I think the word kind of becomes a part of your year. It gives you a lens for reflecting on your experiences. For example, my word of the year for 2020 was radical. How ironic is that?! That year was so radical, that I (along with the rest of the world) spent most of the first half of it saying, "Can you believe this is real?" Of course I'm not saying the pandemic happened because I manifested it by picking radical as my word of the year. I promise my intentions were pure; I wanted to radically pursue God and my dreams. I wanted to love others in a radical way. But I definitely saw my year through a specific "radical" lens.

For 2022, I've chosen the word marinate.

I know this seems like a strange word to pick for a year, but hear me out. This year, I'm striving to take root and be present. In January, I knew I'd be navigating ample life changes throughout 2022, and I didn't want to just go through the motions. I wanted to marinate in every moment, big and small. Also, I knew I'd be moving and having lived in new places before, I have learned that intentionality helps me to make a place feel like home.

So how well have I been marinating? In what ways am I being present?

Honestly, it's been incredibly hard to not focus entirely on what's to come. I have so much to look forward to! A baby, a house, a move to a new town. But I also have a lot of tough goodbyes coming; goodbye to my parents' house of 40 years, to the town I've lived since college (and while navigating some pretty huge life changes), to the people in that town whom I love so dearly, to life as a family of two and so much more. I feel like I'm constantly in a state of counting down to the future while simultaneously freaking out about it all.

Isn't that what being present is all about though? Recognizing exactly how you are feeling and what you are experiencing in this present moment. So if it's dread or excitement about what's to come, it's still part of the present.

We're inundated with the concept of enjoying the present. Ironically enough, that inundation happens mostly through social media, one of the biggest distractions in our day-to-day lives. We feel all this pressure to soak in and appreciate the individual days we've been given, to hug the ones we love and be grateful for all we have. And after a major loss in our lives, there seems to be even more pressure. I know better than to take my one, precious life for granted. But I don't think it's possible to isolate the present from the past and the future. All three work together to comprise each moment; they're intertwined.

In any given moment, the person we are, the lens through which we view our experience, is influenced by our past, present, and future. Sometimes our past may be more of the star of the show and other times our present or future, but all the tenses of our lives coincide.

So I guess that means the pressure is off. Yes, I want to take root and enjoy each present moment, and I am going to continue to strive for that this year. But I'm also going to acknowledge those past experiences that are shaping my current state as well as the influence of that future enthusiasm, nerves, and curiosity. Whatever I'm thinking or feeling, I'm going to try to be all-in. I'm going to continue to work to marinate.

-J