Let's Stop Saying This

There are times in life when people long to say something but don't know what. Usually, these are times of great change, like a death, illness, or loss. Not knowing what to say can be crippling, resulting in people not saying anything or even avoiding the person navigating something hard. As someone who has had her fair share of change, I remember the people who don't acknowledge or don't show up in some way. I've always operated under the idea of saying or doing something is better than saying or doing nothing, even if it means showing up imperfectly.

However, I think there's something we should all stop saying to our loved ones.

I can't imagine...

I can't imagine losing a parent/child/spouse.

I can't imagine hearing a terminal diagnosis.

I can't imagine going through this.

I can't imagine how hard this is for you.

Because, here's the thing: you can imagine it.

You can imagine it, and you're counting your lucky stars that you're not going through the hard thing someone else is facing.

We should strive to imagine whatever circumstance the person is navigating. In imagining it, you're able to empathize with people. Empathizing means stepping into the hard season someone is in, helping them overcome the loneliness and isolation that somehow is inherent in challenges.

So, let's quit saying we can't imagine things and instead let ourselves imagine it. Let's jump into the pit of hard and truly show up for our loved ones.

-J

A photo with two sweet friends who always show up wholeheartedly for me from my dad's wake.