Finding Inspiration When You Have None

Maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't, but I missed out on my once-a-month blog post goal for June and July. Is anyone else's motivation like mine? Completely zapped as soon as you feel like you failed? When I realized I forgot to write anything in June, it felt completely impossible that I would be able to write anything for July. Why bother if I can't attain perfection?

And I pride myself on not being a perfectionist! I work hard to let go of that unattainable desire as often as possible. However, whenever it creeps in, my natural response seems to be to quit. It's the reason I really haven't learned many new skills since I was a kid. I can't ice skate, lost the ability to roller blade, and don't stick with many hobbies.

Sometimes I think the key to overcoming these types of things is simply awareness. In July, when I realized I missed my June goal, I told myself (and a friend) that I was feeling writers' block because of that struggle with imperfection, which solidified my resolve to overcome the setback and continue to write again.

I preach to my students that the key to overcoming writers' block is continuing to write. After all, the more we write, the more we feel inspired to write. Two things that help me continue to find inspiration are to break free from my ordinary and to do some photo-based writing. So, I spent some time this summer doing the former, and now, I'm doing the latter. If this weren't a blog post, I'd be printing these pictures off and dedicating a page to each with a little reflection. This isn't about perfectly crafted writing, but it does give the opportunity to cement the current versions of ourselves in history, one of my favorite things about writing.

We didn't have daycare this summer. After switching daycares at the start of the year, we are now at a really incredible spot that allows families to pull kids for the summer at no extra cost with guaranteed spots when returning in the fall. While excited to save some extra money, I hadn't spent this much time alone with Q since the summer she was born, which wasn't an easy time for me, so I went into the summer feeling a little bit daunted by the idea of mom-ing all day every day. We mapped out a little visual schedule and built a pretty rad routine.

If it were up to Q, we'd spend all our days "playing napping." Now, your first thought is probably, "that doesn't sound so bad!" but it's not as relaxing as you'd think. When "playing napping," one is forced to lay in obscure places and adjust blankets and pillows constantly, while being berated and corrected by the nap leader ☺. Our schedule still included a decent amount of free play but had things that helped me keep my sanity, like daily walks to the park, long, actual naps, and frequent outings to various toddler-friendly places.

Our daily walks to the park probably wound up being a favorite for both of us. We both got to move, and we both worked on being more and more comfortable with navigating the playground. Before summer, Q would just default to riding the swings because she didn't know how the rest of the playground worked. By the end, she's a master, confidently climbing anything and everything she's tall enough to do. I'm so proud of her determination and persistence and to see the fruits of small, regular practice.

We also got to start our days slowly, which is one of my favorite things EVER. It was rare and oh-so-special when a certain someone would grab her own book and crawl into my lap to read together. This picture has so many special elements:

• my own child reading a Berenstain Bears book, a series that marked my entire childhood and has been so delightful to share with Q and allows me to remain connected to my parents in my parent-less motherhood

• a mug from a local artist in Montreal who quickly noticed my subconscious draw to pink when looking at all her pieces and was proud of me for choosing to branch out

• the little fingers and toes and elbow that I just love so much about this sweet toddler age

• reading a great book for my book club, which celebrated its one year anniversary of existence earlier this summer

• reading on my new Kindle, a sweet surprise from Ben last Christmas, knowing my old one was over 15 years old and on its last leg

• cozy in my favorite spot in our house, where I start each day typically before the rest of my family wakes, praying and preparing my heart for a new day

Lately, I've read a lot of mom's thoughts on traveling with kids on Instagram. It's easy to just stay home and assume the trips aren't worth the trouble. After our trip to Savannah and Charleston to kick off summer, it was tempting to switch to that mindset. But one thing I read is that a huge benefit to traveling with kids is that both the parents and the kids get better at it the more you do it. Perhaps this feels like a no-brainer, but I've needed to hear it. This particular trip was full of learning experiences for us.

First, it was a reminder that sometimes doing whatever you can to feel like you're "hacking the system" to get cheap flights doesn't always wind up saving money. Ultimately, I spent more money on this trip than necessary because I THOUGHT I was getting a good deal on a return flight, which actually involved a 4 hour bus ride, something we were not interested in doing after a long travel day with a toddler. And because of that mistake, I wound up booking one night at an Airbnb, which always seems to result in wasting more money in fees and killing time to check in or after checking out.

We also learned that when traveling with young kids, it's best to stay in one place for a longer amount of time. I don't think our "quick weekend trips" are going to be the type of destinations we need to fly to if we're bringing kids. I think dedicating a bit more time will allow us to balance what we want to do and what kids want to do and will give our slow-to-warm daughter a chance to get comfortable and really have fun.

Each time I reflect on our trips with Q, I can't wait to take her somewhere else and experience travel through her eyes. She was talking quite a bit during this trip but even just a few months later, I can't wait to see how much she'd love another trip at her current stage. She's continually becoming a better traveler, and so are we. It's not easy, and somehow each trip has at least one moment where we wonder why we did this, but I'm grateful to have the mindset that we don't get better without practice. I can't wait for all the experiences we'll get to have as a family.

It would be very remiss to not make a plug for Quebec after my sweet friends and I took our annual girls trip there this summer. If you didn't know, the four of us have a tradition of writing two places each on a slip of paper, drawing from a hat, and choosing one of the options for our next trip. After taking last summer off, we finally went on the trip we picked in Asheville, NC, in 2022. The choices were Cape Cod and Quebec City, placed in the hat by the French teacher of the group. Besides her, the rest of us had never spent a moment thinking about wanting to visit French-speaking Canada. My goodness, the trip was incredible.

First off, flights out of Minneapolis were cheap, and the flight was just an easy 2-3 hours. It was easy to find places to stay, and we didn't need to rent a car. We flew into Montreal, which was a really cool city to explore. Since we were only there one night, we stayed at a hotel downtown. We ubered a couple of times but primarily walked and biked around. We couldn't believe how bike-friendly the city was, and only almost died in the bike lane traffic a couple of times ☺. Montreal is truly a bilingual city, where people greet each other with "Bonjour! Hi!" and constantly code-switch between languages. From Montreal, we bussed to Quebec City, where we stayed for the majority of our trip.

We stayed in an airbnb that was walking distance from Old Quebec, where we spent most of our time. There were loads of hills, so we got a taste of hiking while in the city. Both Montreal and Quebec City felt like being in Europe without having to travel quite so far. I can't recommend a trip to Quebec enough!

You know how when you're traveling, you have a moment where you think, "Wow, I'm going to remember this for a long time,"? This dinner was one of those moments for me. Here's the view I'll remember from our table in the corner with a large, open window behind me. The hustle and bustle of quaint Old Quebec just outside the window, with a little breeze blowing in.

We got table-side crepes, where our server made this incredible sauce while explaining the process/ingredients and filling us in on all the must-dos in the area. A few of us may have even licked a bit of sauce off the plate. I've never met a crepe I didn't like and have missed making them at home since my daughter was diagnosed with an egg allergy. Ugh, it was such a great experience!

During a weekend at home we ordered the infamous Pizza Corner for the road, and I thought this spelling of Jennifer was hilarious. My dad would've especially thought the Jeniffer spelling to be funny and a little bit disappointing. I was also reminded of how lucky I was to grow up in the pre-smart-phone-90s and 2000s, where after over 10 years of not living at home, I still have the phone number for various places in town memorized.

Lastly, I celebrated my 30th birthday this summer! I waffled over how I wanted to mark the occasion for a long time. We did it up big for Ben's 30th last fall, spending the weekend in Pasadena, CA, and seeing Coldplay, a bucket-list concert for him. But I remember both of us feeling a bit stressed about leaving Q, and I didn't want to feel the same for my birthday.

We wound up spending a few nights at Grand View Lodge in northern Minnesota as a family, and it was amazing. We love a good roadtrip and being able to bring all that we need as opposed to flying in backpacks as we typically do. With the whole trip being a bit last minute, we were grateful to stay somewhere with so many amenities (loads of pools, playgrounds, restaurants, and beach areas), and we loved being able to just take it easy. The weather wasn't perfect, but we got to rent a pontoon, which Q is still talking about two months later. Of course, our trip wasn't without hiccups, with skipped naps and the occasionally-crabby toddler, but ugh, we made such lovely memories as a family. It was so great to relax by the lake and simply spend time together.

All this to say: here's to continually showing up in the imperfection, for taking the time, however delayed it is, to reflect on this life we're living, and to do what it takes to find inspiration and motivation to do the things that matter to us.

-J