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Traditions: A Lazy Person's Strategy for Joy-Filled Living

My class has spent a bit of time recently writing about traditions lately. We kept things open-ended; they could write about any traditions, why traditions matter, what happens without them, made-up traditions, etc. Writing alongside them and reading their writing got me thinking.


Traditions free us from decision fatigue.

I can't remember what book first introduced me to the concept of being exhausted from decisions, but I've found it to be so real in my life. One of the fastest ways to deplete my energy is to ask what's for dinner when I don't have a plan. The mental energy required in making miniscule, mundane choices adds up and can cause us to freeze and/or make poor decisions.

Traditions help us avoid that. With a solid tradition, we are freed from so much of the planning and creating that is required for living a magical life. I think this freedom is a big reason why Ben and I are such big fans of tradition. We love repetition and ease in planning. For example, this will be our second Christmas in our house. Last year, we got a real tree and ate Pizza Corner while watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas and decorating the tree. When it came time to decide how we would do things this year, we were grateful to just default to what we'd done before. Boom. A tradition was born.


Traditions keep us grounded amidst heartache or chaos.

My mom died on December 28. She'd been in the hospital for many days prior, meaning my family spent Christmas in the hospital that year. Those days in the hospital will always be included in the list of most heartbreaking experiences of my life. However, on Christmas, my aunts and grandparents brought leftovers from our family's celebration. We got to have our usual ham, cheesy potatoes, rolls, and, most importantly, lefse. The absolute joy and peace that came from that familiarity in the midst of tragedy was unforgettable.

Additionally during that time, my best friend and I went to midnight mass at the church near the hospital. This little tradition of ours was brief, having done so only a year or two prior. But the tradition of the Catholic mass and time with my best friend was the perfect respite from the heartache.


Traditions help us stay connected.

With the grief that creeps up around the holidays, especially with the anniversary of my mom's death looming, I love how traditions help connect me to my parents. Making sugar cookies while listening to Christmas music was always a delightful time for my mom and me. Even though I've found a better recipe and am often making them far earlier than my mom would've, the entire experience feels like hanging out with her. Saying a sarcastic, yet love-filled, "yay!" after opening every single present is how my sisters and I can feel like my dad is right in the room with us. The things we love most about traditions have very little to do with the traditions themselves; it's all about who we love and sharing those memories.

Beyond connecting with the deceased, traditions provide invaluable opportunities for shared experiences that become lasting memories. I come from some fairly large extended families, and, especially as I get older and we live more spread out, occasionally I feel like I have cousins that I don't really know. However, we have all these shared experiences thanks to the traditions of matching pajamas, yummy meals, gift exchanges, games, and so on. These connections are what it's all about. I know these family members are always in my corner, and I hope they know I'm in theirs.


Traditions bring joy.

You know I'm all about joy-filled living. I'm really not interested in a life that is anything less than that. Traditions truly add magic to the mundane. Dinner is just dinner unless you add a little something extra. So during the Advent season, we light candles in our Advent wreath and reflect on the Lord. We make special recipes that have been passed for generations or have been made together for years.

Because they aren't habits, they do need to be a bit "out of the ordinary" in order to be exciting, traditions are such a low-key way to bring joy. Something doesn't need to be repeated constantly to be a tradition; we can add them or drop them whenever they become more stressful than joyful. I love that freedom.

Some of my most joyful traditions are/were Saturday lunch dates with mom, Saturday coffee dates with Ben, hunting down our Easter baskets on Easter morning, opening Christmas presents in order from youngest to oldest, waking up HOURS before the rest of the family on Christmas morning, posting up by the fireplace at my grandparents' house, and goofing around with my cousins at my aunt's house.


Traditions allow us to focus on what's important.

When talking about traditions with my students, the common thread was how traditions allowed them to spend time with their family. Despite it all, our time with our loved ones is what's most important. Anything that helps draw us closer is worth every ounce of preparation, energy, and creativity. The older I get, the more I understand and appreciate the effort that the adults in my life put into making things magical for me, my sisters, and my cousins. I am keenly aware of the ways our traditions expressed (and still do express) the deep, true love of family. At the same time, I'm positively giddy with the anticipation of being able to make magic for the kids in my life now.


Once again, it all comes back to love. Traditions are a beautiful expression of love. Convenience aside, they help us to foster connection, overcome tragedy, remain focused on what matters most, and live more joyfully.

-J



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Hi, thanks for stopping by!

I'm so glad you're here. My name is Jenn. I'm a teacher, wife, sister, and friend. Reading, writing, traveling, and making the perfect latte are a few of my favorite things.

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