Three Things

If you know me, you know I can't stand to do anything everyone else is doing. I read popular books just to prove that it's not as good as people say, I stop listening to musicians once they become mainstream, and I loathe Starbucks. However, some things are popular for a reason, and gratitude is one thing that's worth all the hype it's been getting over the last few years.

Gratitude, or the practice of recognizing and appreciating the goodness around us, can truly shape (or reshape) the way we see the world. I don't think it's natural for us to focus on the good. If it were, they wouldn't make shirts and signs and so many other things reminding us to do so. We have to train ourselves to see the good and to see it more than the negatives. A practice of daily gratitude takes things one step further; not only do we notice positives but we appreciate them, we dig in and recognize their impact on our lives.

In December of 2016, my mom was diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer. If you're like me and know little about the survivability of various cancers, her prognosis was not good. And worse, she felt so sick. Anyone who's experienced a sick parent in any capacity knows how horrendous it is to witness. One way that I coped was beginning a gratitude journal.

My mom's diagnosis also happened during my first year teaching, which is a lot like trying to find your way through a pitch black room with only your arms stretched in front of you. When I found myself having tough days, I would write down some things that were good. So I'd had a bit of practice with gratitude, but I was eager for a system that would force me to see the positives in each day.

There were a couple of things I implemented in order to make a daily gratitude journal a habit. First, I was only going to write three things. Sure, there'd be days where I could easily write 15 things I was grateful for, but I also knew some days coming up with one would be laborious, so I settled on three. I also decided to keep the notebook (with the pen inside) right in my bed. I was already a daily-before-bed-reader and planned to write in my notebook before starting to read. Having the notebook close by was essential.

At first, I complicated things by making myself fill in entries for days I missed. It took me spending 30 minutes one night trying to catch up on the last week to realize how ridiculous that was. Now, if I miss, I just jump in the next day. This is probably the only daily habit I've ever truly, successfully implemented.

The change wasn't drastic or sudden. Five years later, I still go through hard things and have a tough time coming up with three things I'm grateful for each day. Some days are just average, with nothing standing out as noteworthy. But my appreciation for *almost* everything has grown. My gratitude journal has taught me that I can see things to love and be grateful for in everything. Just as building the habit was slow and steady, I've had a slow and steady transition into reacting positively in the moment, without forcing it. This small practice has deepened my connections with all the people I encounter. Aside from the obvious family, friends, and colleagues, some of my entries include being grateful for, "the friendly lady at the coffee shop," "happy people," "the guy who held the door at the post office," and "interacting with new people at church." Everything feels so much more meaningful knowing I get to choose gratitude.

My Three Things for Today:

1. a morning reading and drinking coffee before school

2. yesterday's leftovers making an easy lunch

3. genuine, kind encouragement and surprising friendship from afar

If you find yourself in a difficult season or fighting the urge to think negatively of the things you encounter throughout your days, maybe adding a gratitude practice of some sort would help.

-J