Thoughts on Waiting

If you ask me, most of our lives are spent waiting. We’re often waiting for the next big thing. Even in the mundane aspects of our lives, we’re waiting. Currently, in the Midwest, we’re waiting for more sunlight in our days and weather that doesn’t hurt your face. We’re waiting and preparing for Christmas and all the festivities that it brings.

As a society, we are not good at waiting. Everything we need is easily accessible, so when things we need or want require a period of waiting or follow a timeline different from what we expected, it can be debilitating.

Last year at this time, I was on the brink of a serious season of transition. I was waiting. For a baby, a move, a new job, and a new house. One would think that this year, having conquered much of that transition, I would feel satisfied or at least comfortable with patience and pausing. However, I still find myself wrestling with a level of restlessness. What’s next?

Someone once told me that we get more of a psychological boost telling people about an upcoming vacation than we get from the trip itself. Assuming that’s true, maybe it’s in the waiting that it all happens.

When I’ve been waiting for something - trips, weddings, babies, job interviews, etc. - I’m often preparing. I’m dreaming about it, asking others questions about their experiences, and researching what I want my life to look like once the thing I’m waiting for is upon me. In that, I might be clearing out the “muck,” ditching the things I‘m struggling with and refining my abilities. Waiting allows me to enter into the next season or event as the best possible version of myself for that time. If it’s something worth waiting for, it’s something worth being my best self for.

I think it’s a good thing that we have to wait, that sometimes we can’t control the timeline and how fast time goes.

If we can learn to surrender, to let go of our constant desire of controlling what isn’t meant to be controlled, maybe we’ll find that we can be content and joyful in the present moment. Maybe we’ll be pleasantly surprised when our lives turn out to be more than we ever could have imagined if it were up to us. Amidst the restlessness of waiting, I’m going to try to kick back, have a cup of coffee, and find joy in knowing it’ll be worth it.

- J

*It’s been months since my last blog post. While grappling with writer’s block and questions about how my little blog will be perceived, I was reminded of the importance of sharing our stories and that sometimes, done is better than perfect. Here’s to showing up in the imperfection.