Things My Baby Taught Me

Throughout the majority of my pregnancy, I was TERRIFIED of being a mom to a baby. I told everyone who would listen that I wouldn't feel comfortable until the baby was able to talk and move around independently. When I'd imagine labor and delivery, one of my biggest fears was that the medical team would expect me to hold the baby right away. Ask anyone, I've been afraid of babies forever.

There's nothing quite like "baptism by fire" to overcome fears. And, just like many warned me might happen, I have loved this babyhood season and have learned so much. This sweet human has taught me:

• Some things are RIGHT NOW things (like snuggles, eating, and giggling), and some things are MAYBE LATER things (like cleaning, scrolling, cooking, driving, etc.). We often get the right now and maybe later things mixed up, but babies naturally know what's most important in life and are very good at reminding us.

• I should prioritize upper-body strengthening. Even with a baby that's often remarked as "petite" and falls on the lower end of the weight percentiles, my arms are usually sore from holding her for long periods of time. I realize this will get worse before it gets better.

• People are inherently good. The world wants us to think no one is on our team, but babies prove to us the goodness in everyone. In our nine months out and about with a baby, there have been people who run to hold doors for me as I lug the clunky infant car seat across the parking lot, who volunteer to drag a bagged-up stroller through the airplane boarding line, who smile and play games while we wait in lines, and who go out of their way to wave at her.

• Accept help! Before our first flight with a baby, I'd researched tips for traveling with young ones, and accepting help was a big one. Ever since then, I try to say yes whenever people offer. As an introvert, it can be extra intimidating to interact with so many strangers, but I swear, God uses babies to help us connect with people.

• Smiles are powerful. There have been a few times, where I've wrongly judged people as grumpy when we're out in public. All Quinn does is smile at them and suddenly I'm reminded of how wrong I was to judge. With one little smile, everyone is joyful and connected.

• Most things can be done one-handed, with enough practice. It took me a while to accept the loss of independence that comes with little ones. I'd prepared for the extra challenges of traveling and planning, but I hadn't realized the small things that would become more difficult. Like preparing dinner, baking, or cleaning. My best advice is to start by having everything as accessible as possible. If I'm baking, knowing a clingy baby will be imminent, I'll measure EVERYTHING out ahead of time, because pouring and stirring (with a stand mixer) are totally doable one-handed. And don't forget to utilize those knees. I have a dear friend who can make a peanut butter sandwich completely one-handed, because she holds the peanut butter jar with her knees.

• A life of wonder is a good life. When everything is new to you, it's easy to be constantly filled with wonder and awe. From faucets to light switches, balls of fuzz to cupboard doors, everything is fascinating to babies. We quickly adapt to our environment, and suddenly those small things become mundane. Living in such plugged-in worlds adds another hurdle to exploring the world, but each day I've focused on seeking wonder through Quinn has been infinitely better than the days I've scrolled instagram.

• Don't look at things with a perspective of "I can't do that," but rather study them until you can. I watch my baby truly study everything - holding cups, chewing, walking, clapping - until one day she shows she can do it by herself. She never seems discouraged seeing that I can do something that she hasn't mastered. And the proud smile that encompasses her face when she finally figures something out is priceless. I don't know when in our lives that perspective shifts, but I can't help but wonder what I would be capable of if I looked at challenges the way she does.

• Celebrate success and prioritize what you want to see more of. I can't remember why we started teaching Quinn to turn lights off. However, we started practicing every time we left a room. With that kind of consistency, it didn't take long for her to figure it out. And when we cheer and celebrate those things, it continues to motivate her to persist. On the other hand, I'm starting to worry that she'll grow to expect a round of applause for doing simple and expected tasks, like turning off lights, but that's a problem for another day. ☺

• The goal is consistency, not perfection. Maybe it's just me, but sometimes it can feel discouraging when it feels like your baby isn't making progress. We began introducing solids around 6 months, and the process still feels clunky, at best. I keep trying to reassure myself that offering different foods consistently is more important than having perfect meals every time.

• Flu shots are always a good idea. I know everyone talks about it, but cold and flu season is NO JOKE for babies, especially those that go to daycare. We're looking forward to warmer weather and less snotty noses soon, but I wouldn't wish babies with influenza on my worst enemies.

• There are few bad moods that can't be fixed with a nap or a snack. If my husband were to write a blog post called, "Things My Wife Taught Me" (or probably more appropriately titled, "Dealing With My Wife"), this would also be on that list. Alas, basic needs are basic needs for a reason.

I'm so grateful to be Quinn's mom and to get to learn so much from her as I try to teach her a thing or two. Someone once described the season of having little kids as being full of extremely high highs and extremely low lows. I find that fitting, but I wouldn't trade it. And babies aren't that scary! They're far more durable than we think, they bring much more joy and beauty to the world than they get credit for, and they don't "ruin our lives," like society often wants us to think. This season we're in won't last forever, which is true of every season of life. And with that, there are things I'll miss and things I won't, but I hope to be able to say I enjoyed every moment and learned all that I could.

-J