Rebellious Joy in Parenthood

People can be so discouraging to new parents. I don't think they mean to be, but people who have been parents for years love to tell us newbies about how hard it is, how tired we'll be, how we'll lose our independence and money, etc. I'm not too naive to think it will be all sunshine and rainbows, but there are so many things I'm looking forward to. Maybe it's rebellious of me to seek joy in something everyone warns me I'm supposed to dislike, but so be it. I thought I'd document some of those things I'm eager for here, so when things do get hard, I have a reminder of all the goodness, all the things I longed for in this season. Maybe it can be a reminder for you too.

• Seeing the world for the first time again. I am so excited to experience things for the first time again through the eyes of our kid. In many ways, life with kids is like taking a vacation, where you're wandering around, wide-eyed and full of wonder. All of that discovery is so beautiful to witness.

• Magic in the every day. Going along with the previous item, kids make things magical. It is easy for them to be excited about simple, mundane things like loading the dishwasher and reading the same book for the 9723rd time. It'll be such a gift to experience all that magic alongside them.

• The cuddles. I'm not much of a physical touch person, but the love and hugs and cuddles will be delightful.

• Connecting with strangers and loved ones alike. There is something about babies that brings so much connection. Throughout our pregnancy, I've gotten to connect with people in my life over this somewhat shared experience of preparing for parenthood. I've also had many interactions with strangers, uber drivers and people at the table next to us, who are all excited for the upcoming season of our lives. I'm sure a smiley baby (or even a screaming one) will bring all kinds of connections with the people we encounter.

• Doing holy work. Throughout this first year of marriage, I've learned a lot about my role as Ben's wife, striving to help him get to heaven. I'm building a habit of intentionally doing things for him just to love him selflessly. Similarly, throughout parenthood, there will be SO MANY opportunities to love this new human sacrificially and selflessly. That's the kind of love we're called to show everyone, and I'm eager to grow in my ability to do so, to love this human how God designed us to love. Additionally, I know changing diapers and feeding in the middle of the night doesn't SEEM holy, but the holiest tasks are the ones we do without wanting to, the ones we do simply out of love.

• Establishing and conquering more routines. Alongside doing holy work, having another member in our family will likely make it easier to follow routines. Trust me, I don't think that suddenly I'll have my life together because of there being a baby around, but I think knowing someone is depending on me will make some of the tasks I typically procrastinate become priorities. I'll also prioritize those tasks knowing how limited my time will have become. Maybe that's bonkers, but, hey, I think I'm onto something ☺

• Having an excuse to go to all the cool places. Places made for kids are so incredible, and having a kid means getting to go to them all.

• Getting to know this human. Like any parents awaiting the arrival of their baby, we just can't wait to get to know who this baby is and who they will become. I'm excited to get to know all the quirks and hopes and fears and to begin making memories together.

So maybe our society likes to focus on the negatives. Maybe experienced parents wear those challenges as a badge of honor and don't realize the negative impact of their words. But there's joy to be had in every season, and new parenthood is no different. I'd love to hear what you love about parenthood, and I hope you find ways to rebelliously seek joy in whatever season you're in.

-J