Lessons From My Toddler

Does 20 months even count as being a toddler? I think according to Busy Toddler, kids between one and two years old might fit in the "taby" category, the funky time between being a baby and being a toddler.

Alas, this child of mine is at SUCH a fun age. There's so much pressure to be present and enjoy every moment of raising young kids because "it goes so fast." One way I try to be present is to periodically reflect on how she's is teaching me about the world. There's so much!

• Learning new things can require a lot of studying. Lately, Q has been FASCINATED with jumping. She asks us to jump all the time and continues to try to figure it out. As an adult, I am continually hard on myself when I don't figure something out quickly, but she's reminding me that learning is a slow, ongoing process. There's no need to feel discouraged or disappointed when it takes a bit of time. Additionally, she has SO. MUCH. FUN. in the studying. I pray she never loses the joy in learning like so many of us do.

• We can and should learn from the people around us. So much of this little lady's day is spent observing people. This is especially obvious during mass, where she's constantly watching people around us for cues about how to act. It's not uncommon we see her bowing or reaching out for a handshake slightly after everyone else. Additionally, the ability to "read the room" is something I prioritize teaching my students. We enter rooms quietly, so we have an opportunity to see what we're walking into. We look at the faces of the people around us to see if it's a good time to make yet another joke (usually it isn't ☺). Q is teaching me that this ability is perhaps more innate than I realized. Sometimes, I think we forget that our environment and the people in it can teach us a lot, if we just pay attention.

• We should always be aware of the example we're setting. This goes along with the previous two lessons. We never know when someone is studying US for clues on how to act.

• Our food preferences are always changing. Yesterday Quinn hated raspberries. Today, she can't get enough of them. I am kind of loving the challenge of trying to expose her to lots of variety in foods and continue to offer them in new ways when stuck in a rut. One thing that hasn't changed is how much she loves barbecue sauce, our secret weapon for getting her to try anything. This has helped me to try new things, and it turns out I can stomach broccoli after all (as long as it's covered in barbecue sauce ☺).

• There's no shame in dancing in public. We've gone to a few hockey games lately, and seeing this girl bust a move has brought so much joy! She's a dancing machine, grooving at the grocery store and everywhere we go.

• Everything can be done playfully. Recently, I read that kids don't differentiate between work and play. I don't know when I started doing so in my own life, but having a model for play as a roommate has been amazing. She helps clean up after dinner, loading the dishwasher, putting leftovers away, and throwing garbage, and she has so much fun doing it. This is perhaps a bit more time-consuming, but gone are the days of begrudgingly cleaning up dinner. It's a favorite part of the day for all of us. Maybe we could aim to do everything playfully, and everything could be joyful.

• Tough times are better together. Even when I'm the bad guy who said no, and that's why she's upset, she wants me near her while she calms down. I hope she grows up knowing that all emotions are okay and don't have to be felt alone. Once again, I'm reminded of my great uncle's famous words, "When joy is shared, it's doubled; when sorrow is shared, it's diminished."

• Babies love to be fully covered with blankets, pat on the back, and told good night ☺. We're VERY into playing with baby dolls, and Q will spend 20+ minutes doing this over and over again. For the record, this is not how she is put to sleep, but it's adorable seeing her care for her toys. It feels like one of those "My baby is becoming a big kid" moments.

• When you see something that's wrong, don't hesitate to fix it; just take care of it. This is exactly what Quinn does when she sees a misplaced toy, piece of garbage, or spill on the floor. She gets this serious expression on her face and jumps right into fixing it. I hope she does that forever.

• Love continues to grow deeper and wider as we get to know each other better. The concept that as parents we get the honor of chipping away to discover the person our children were designed to be is delightful and intimidating. I love this age of 18 months+ where we're really getting to know who Q is, and I think that not knowing was part of what I found so challenging in the earlier months of her life.

She's growing up fast, but I don't think we need to stress about the passing of time. I think knowing time is finite makes things all the more beautiful. We don't need to worry about the changes that are to come; love seems to grow deeper the more time passes. And that's what it's all about.

-J