First Time Mom Things

One of my biggest flaws is that unless I know I can do something really well, I pretend I don't care. For some reason, in my brain, if I'm careless, it won't matter that I haven't mastered whatever it is. That's kind of how I was throughout most of my pregnancy. I didn't want to share any of my thoughts/plans for motherhood out of fear that others would think I'm not fit for it.

I also think I was (and maybe still am) insanely intimidated by all of the things. As an analytical, information-seeking type of person, I was continually overwhelmed by all the options and all the differing viewpoints regarding LITERALLY EVERY parenting decision. I don't want to add to the noise that is all over the internet of what to do and what not to do, but I'm also eager to own where I'm at. I want to acknowledge that I don't know everything there is to know, I'm not a perfect parent, but maybe there's something from my experience that could help others. So here's a brain dump of all the things baby/motherhood-related from the past few months of my life:

"Research" and Information - There are a number of places I sought information while preparing for our baby's arrival. These are a few of my favorites.

• Haley Wynn blog - If there is anywhere I look when trying to find honest and worthwhile reflections, systems, and products, it's Haley Wynn Designs. She's so genuine and down-to-earth and has never led me astray. I used her pregnancy and postpartum blog posts to stay afloat during pregnancy, create our baby registry, and plan for postpartum.

• Karrie Locher - Karrie is another top-notch resource. She's shared so many real motherhood things that have helped me immensely. I haven't taken any of her courses but definitely will be if/when we have more kids.

• Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting (now with Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting) - I LOVED this book. Like, took notes and underlined and refer to regularly, kind of loved it.

• Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

• Taking Cara Babies - We took a few classes from here and really loved them. We both are super dependent on quality sleep, and it was so nice to know we had some tools when it came to sleep. I'm still regularly watching things within the course to help answer questions as we work toward laying a good sleep foundation.

• The Push Lab - Remember what I said about not handling feeling ill-equipped well? I could not get myself to go to a class at the hospital with other couples around and learn about preparing for what has been warned to be the hardest thing of my entire life. This class was the perfect alternative. While I couldn't stand how many times they said the word "mama" in the videos, I loved getting unbiased information of all the options and things to prepare for. It also came with lots of exercises and stretches that my sore, slow-moving body needed.

Favorite Baby Products - Building a registry/wishlist was hard. There are so many options and people have strong opinions on what's "right." I kept a few things in mind while making decisions:

1. What is affordable? I was not going to spend buckets of money on things I didn't know the baby or I would like. I think a lot of marketing appeals to the nerves, sleep deprivation, and desperation of new parents, and I did not want to get caught up in the trap of all the gimmicks.

2. What will last? Products that I could use for multiple kids or through multiple stages of development were priorities of mine.

3. What is safe? Knowing feeling "touched out" could be a very real possibility for me, I wanted as many safe places to put the baby as I could manage.

4. What is simple? From my experience in the classroom especially, I know how overstimulation can be detrimental to kids (and adults!). I didn't want useless clutter, and I didn't want things that would be too visual, too loud, too complicated.

So here's a few things that we've purchased or been gifted and have loved:

• Sleepers with two-way zippers or easily access for diaper changes. We've especially loved Little Sleepies because they're super soft and our sweet baby has big feet and long legs that seem to be popping out of footed pajamas.

• Snuggle Me Organic. This baby kept us alive during those first few weeks. It's been a cozy, portable spot for naps or lounging when we can't be holding baby.

• All things Copper Pearl. Our favorite blankets and sheets are all from here. I'm certain we'll be buying more!

• Tripp Trapp High Chair. Obviously we haven't used this bad boy fully yet. We got the newborn attachment, which has been great for meals (both preparing and eating them). This is one of those products that we'll be able to use for years. Plus, it's aesthetically pleasing and fits well with our home, which is a nice bonus.

• Let's talk gliders for a quick moment. I had my eye on a delightful glider, but I just couldn't get myself to drop the money on it. I was fortunate enough to snag a few second hand rockers/gliders from family that have been absolutely perfect. We have one in the nursery and one in the living room, and both have served our family very well. It's a great reminder that we don't always need new and flashy things, and we also can trust that we'll have what we need even if it's not according to "plan."

• Mockingbird Stroller. The stroller situation s-t-r-e-s-s-e-d me out. I didn't want to get something that wouldn't be easy to maneuver or load, but I also didn't want to spend thousands, especially living somewhere where the stroller will be in the garage more months of the year than not. It's safe to say I'm obsessed with this stroller. It has everything I could possibly need and does great for all the walking we've been doing this summer. And it's another thing that will grow with us!

• This is random but we LOVE our changing pad. We turned an old dresser into the changing table, and for whatever reason, I swear it's our baby's favorite place. Whenever we or she needs a reset, we go there and all leave happy as can be. I had gone back and forth about this one or the fancier ones that you can use to weigh your baby, but this one's been great.

• There are all kinds of other things we're using and loving, like our swing, baby carrier, diaper bags, etc., but our preferences can all be so varied, and I didn't feel as much pressure/spend as much time making decisions about those kinds of products.

MVPs of Postpartum

The early postpartum days were ROUGH. Here are some other superheros that really saved us:

• All things MomFrida. If I had to do it over again, I would've just bought everything from their postpartum line to have on hand. Who cares if it doesn't all get used, but having things to help physically in those early days was so important.

• Nursing cart turned snack cart. I had read about having a cart of all the essential nursing/night time items handy. Our's quickly became a snack cart. Some of the best snacks were unexpected: granola bars we haven't had in YEARS, fruit snacks, Reeses Thins (they only have one wrapper instead of the typical two, plus they gave the perfect amount of joy and sweetness in the middle of the night), baked goods.

• Grocery delivery. I never realized how long it'd take to get back to feeling comfortable while walking. Having groceries delivered was a lifesaver.

• Summer sausage sandwiches. Yes, this is the third bullet in a row about food, but we ate so many of these babies that they probably earned their own blog post at this point. They were the perfect quick, delicious meal when we were too tired to function.

• Kindle. My kindle has been so fantastic for one-handed reading while nursing or holding the baby.

• Family being close. Especially with my parents both having passed, I hadn't thought I would want family over a bunch in the early days, but boy, did I not only want them; I needed them. I needed people to break up the days and hold the baby while I was recovering and oh-so tired.

So, there you have it. I hope I haven't simply added to the "noise" that is all things babies on the internet these days. There's lots I'm learning and experiencing, and I seem to be struggling with articulating it all. Hopefully this little brain dump helps me conquer some writer's block and helps you in either planning for yourself, helping a loved one prepare, or reflecting on your own experiences. I can't wait to navigate more of parenthood and connect with so many of you in a new way.

-J